I know I promised that I would stop posting emo stuffs here. But I just feel so sad suddenly, after scrolling through twitter and instargram, seeing everyone enjoying tangyuan made by their ah ma. Its been 5 years since she left us and it has been 5 years since I last ate tangyuan. Well, although mum tried to buy some tangyuan for me for the supermarket, but really, none of it can be compared to the one made by my grandma. I still remember every year at this time, mum will bring me to ah ma house while she go to work, and then I will spend the whole day at ah ma house. At then, there were no fb, no twitter or instargram for me to scroll through, but I have never felt bored when I am at ah ma house. In the morning, we will start rolling tangyuan and cooking it. Then we will sit in the living room and watch the taiwan drama 意难望 together, while waiting for my ah gong to be back from work. Sometimes ah ma and I will go for a short afternoon nap together and she will tell me stories about her past till we fall asleep. And the sweetest thing is that she will always look at the clock at around 5pm, telling me that 阿公要回来了 and shortly after awhile, ah gong will appear at the door. After that, ah gong will cook dinner for us all and we will together in front of the tiny table in front of tv, watching the 6pm news. But since ah ma go to the heaven 5 years ago, all these activities had stop. Everything have changed since she left. Ah ma house no longer feel as warm as before. Ah gong stop cooking dinner for us, and I am drifting further and further away from him. Its been like so many months since I last go to his house. Feel very guilty for that, but the feelings is just aint the same without ah ma. Sigh, I know I shouldn't be feeling so sad or else ah ma will have a hard time in heaven, but still... I really miss her and the past.