Trying my luck to blog with the browser now. Its 2.30am in the morning and i am still wide awake . i know i should be studying, but well, i am kinda sick of those notes and books now. Its just about 1 day left more till prelim and this time i really hope that i can do well. i mean, i really hope that my results will improve because this time, i really did put in many hardwork in my studies Its like, i really hate it when people around are doubting me or suan-ing me about my results and studies nowadays. Yes, i do know that i have been acting like an ah lian, slacker, getting horrible grades, sleeping in class for the past 2 years.But this time, i really decide to make a change. Why cant all these people just trust me for once and stop focusing about my past.Thats why i told myself that i better show some improvement for my prelim this time.I have put in alot of effort and i know there are many people supporting me, i dont want to dissapoint anyone anymore. I can do it, right?








I am tired of giving the politically right answer. No, I am not fine at all. I still cant forget any of them. I cant get over the past no matter how hard I try to move on. I may have lost them but I haven't lost the memories I had with them. Those days where almost everyday is perfect. Those days when I will wake up with a smile because I know that his good morning text is coming soon. It sucks you know. To be the one thats being left behind, the feeling of being forgotten. It really make me feel so worthless, as if I was the only one that ever enjoyed those days. I don't get it, really. I thought we were all fine being together? I thought you didn't cared about our difference. I thought you will keep you promise about staying with me forever. What happened to us?

Yes, I do know that they have moved on and theres already someone else that have replaced me. But I haven't. I know it sounds stupid or ridiculous to you all that why can't I just let go of the past and move on for someone better. It's not that I never try. I tried really hard. Finding someone else to replace them. But its like when that new person came into my life and really healed me, they left again. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, SERIOUSLY. ARE YOU ALL LIKE PLAYING A GAME WITH ME. OR AM I BORN TO BE SOMETHING THAT YOU ALL CAN THROW AWAY WHEN YOU GUYS ARE BORED AND TIRED OF. It sucks you know. To trust your heart fully to someone and then somehow, they left after awhile breaking your heart just like that. I really dont get it.