1. Lying on bed again. Hahas, Realised that I have been sleeping late recently even though there's exam the next day. I seriously don't know what's wrong with myself recently, but somehow I think i have done so badly for my prelims that I felt so demoralized to continue studying for te subsequent papers. Especially for today's Amath paper. I went to the exam hall without studying any Amath stuff since te first paper. When I was in the exam hall, I nearly cried out. I forgot the most basic formula, how to diffferntiate, integrate. I filled 3/4 of the scripts with rubbish. This is te first examination in my life which I have so little confidence and first time I have done so badly. But this is not the worst thing. I think the worst thing was that I don't really give a damn about all these. The moment I stepped out of the exam hall, I am already thinking about how to enjoy myself and stuffs. I have totally lost my motivation. I know tat I have failed my parents and the teachers, but seriously nowadays I just can't get myself concentrated. Everytime when I tried to study, it's either that my thoughts will drift to lalaland or that I would fall asleep. Hmm, but Anw Ireally hope that the result for this prelim will serve as a wake up call me to work harder. 2.Been witnessing and heard quite of few stories of people around me nowadays. Had heart to heart talk sessions with some of my close friends, and all these builds up to make me feel that I am considered lucky for being who I am. Yes, there may be really fucked up times in my life when people leave my life or when someone or something is really pissiing me off. But still, I am considered lucky to have what I have right? Perhaps, I should stop ranting about how sad I am, but instead, focus on the things I have and make myself happier. No, I am not running away from reality. But I really feel that it's important to focus on who's there for you now, and treasure them, rather than moaning over those that have left. Especially today, one of my not close fried lost someone really impt from his life. I know he is feeling damn horrible now. I know how he feel, and there's nothing I can say to cheer him up. Nothing will help now. But i still feel horrible for being so useless ): all i do is to hope that he will stand up strong again and move on with life. Jiayou. 3.On a happier note, I got my pay today! Hahas, it's much more than what I expected. So i am really happy! Yeapp, I am going to keep my promise and donate 20% of it to the needy, and hmm Dad's birthday an mother's day is here! Maybe I shall treat the family a dinner and make smth really cool for them (: Oh oh! And of course! I am going to stock up on my clothes! And do so many may things! Hehe, seriously can't wait for prelims to be over. Alright, shall go sleep now! Goodnight, sweet dreams <3