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Wednesday, November 23, 2011 ♥ 12:08 AM Went to tumblr, feeling really down aft that and now I am here to blog about him again. I know I promised myself and my friends that I will forget about him and that I should blog lesser about him. I tried, but my blog is the only place that I can really vent all my thoughts. I really don't want to annoy or disturb my friends anymore with all this relationship problems, i know everybody have their own life, their own problems to solve, so i know I should not bug them. Well, all this while, i must admit that I have been putting on a really good mask on myself, I am finally smiling, laughing and enjoying my life like the usual me, but the truth is, he have never once left my mind. You know, that feeling when you are enjoying a movie or walking on the street, you will start to wonder how nice it would be if he is there with you at that moment. Actually, I have been asking myself, what makes me for him so deeply? I can't answer that myself, I dunno. But I just seems to like him for who he is. I like how small his eyes are, I like how sharp his nose are, I like the way he talk, the way he always crack on lame jokes, the way he always appear to be so happy and care-free. I like the way he smells. And worst, I am totally obsessed with the way he smoke, and the smell of tobacco in his breath. I have never admit it to him before cos I really dislike people smoking, and it hurts me to see ppl smoking, hurting their own body.But somehow, I just enjoy looking at him doing that, i am sick, i know. These few days, I realised that I have been trying very very hard to gain his attention back on me. And I really feel pathetic and tired, no matter how hard I try, he just don't seems to give a damn. Somehow, my instinct tell me that no matter how much I do to improve myself, I will never ever become the perfect girl in his heart. Is that true? Can someone like, really answer me? If I ever become perfect and stand in front of him again, will he take a look at me? Will things be different? |
colourful SHUYING EXTRordinary 15 year old girl. Waiting for her prince to appear and make her life perfect. 27th March CCHMS TALK NOW, MOVE IT. Priscilla.C Melissa HuiXin INSTANT TIME MACHINE April 2011 May 2011 July 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 May 2012 August 2012 September 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 TAKE A BOW basecodes by: detonatedlove/♥s} images: photobucket photobucket designer: dreyfire inspiration: living a COLOURFUL life/♥s} |