It has been a long time since i last blogged yeahh. Actually, I make this post today because I really just wanna vent all my emotions and thoughts without spamming other people's timeline or news feed. So yeahh, things have been going very wrong this few days. Days without him just doesnt feel right. I swear he is on my mind for every single minute, even when i was sleeping, he has been appearing in my dreams for the past few nights. Walking through the path where we used to go with him holding my hands, taking the bus where we used to take together with him lending me his shoulder when I am tired, re-reading our SMS convo, all the sweet SMSes which have never failed to make me smile to the phone like a retard. I know people around me must be thinking why am i being so stupid, crying for a guy that doesnt even love me. I know i am being stupid, but I just cant control my tears when I thought of all the happy times when i was with him and how I will never get to see him again. I cry because I really miss the days I had with him, not because i am angry with him. Yes, he might have hurt me badly this time, but i swear i have never regret knowing with him. If i were given the chance to choose again, i will stilll choose to be with him, no regrets. So yeahh, to my dearest spy friend, jizong and huixin, dun feel guilty or sorry for me，我真的很感谢你们让有这个机会认识他，是你们让我度过了我这生中，最美好的43天。Yeahh, i know people are all blaming him, calling him a bastard, saying that he is a heartless freak, but thats not what i wanted. I have never ever blame him before, neither do I hate him. Its not his fault that he doesnt like me anymore right? Its not a fault to have no feel for someone right? I know people around me are all worried about me cause i havent been my usual self this few days. Especially to priscilla, huixin, melissa, grace, shuyun, kiayee and jieqi, sorry for breaking down and crying like a shit ass, 对不起把你们吓坏了。 你们不要担心，请你们给我多几天的时间，让我痛痛快快地哭得够，哭完之后，我答应你们我会变回以前那个happy-go-lucky 的shuying! Ohh, and thankyou to everybody who sent me those encouraging texts and tweets, really thankyou! <3